“Your words were found, and I ate them.”
Brian says I need an outlet — that I need to start posting again. Posting is my way of getting out things that I want to say to large numbers of people and don’t have a platform (yet) to say. So here we go. This might be my topic for awhile.
Jeremiah 15:16 “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts.” I love this verse in Jeremiah! The people of Jeremiah’s time had forgotten the words of God — forgotten them in the sense that they found them to be irrelevant. Each was following his own way. Revival was needed. And Jeremiah received God’s call. Obeying God, for Jeremiah, was not optional: God tells Jeremiah that He will be with him, and that the people will not listen, but “Do not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them.” God promises deliverance to Jeremiah. The tough part about realizing that he is God’s prophet through whom God’s word will be spoken is that he is now confronted with his own sin. Yikes. “Heal me O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.” Jer. 17:14.
I feel like Jeremiah most of the time since we’ve been writing curriculum–finding delight as I meditate on the truths we write about, and realizing how little I know God’s Word, how superficial most of my treatment of it has been over the course of my life. Often I realize my own sin as I see the disparity between God’s good word and my own life. I see how little I actually trust God and His Word–how much I have settled and continue to settle for someone else’s interpretation, someone else’s application, someone else’s FAITH in God — and have been satisfied, with either superficial or secondhand treatments of God’s Word, asking barely a question, pondering for barely a moment over my morning readings, barely having the integrity to dig in for myself because some professor or pastor somewhere taught me has already taught me what to think so I’ll just let him, the specialist, do the work and just be satisfied with that. Lies. Deception.
Now that I’m writing curriculum and hear (some) people complaining about how hard it is to actually think about the Word of God for themselves, I resonate with Jeremiah 20: ”O Lord, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed…for the Word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long. If I say, I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name, there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.” The parallels break down because many people do not reproach us but rather thank us for writing Bible studies that don’t insult young people’s intelligence. But I am quick to hear the negative (probably because it comes from the people that I most prefer approval from sometimes). So I feel like Jeremiah. I don’t think some of those who oppose what we’re doing realize how much they rely on others to mediate the Word to them. Particularly at a church that is known for its biblical faithfulness, I feel I am constantly surprised when I see how quickly others are satisfied with another’s ownership of the Word.
And then, like Jeremiah, I see how many times I have done it myself.
Everyone in any ministry should read this quote.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who does actually try to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they have lived in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt, 1899, Chicago
Dealing with Criticism
While my husband and I were sharing with some friends about the experience of writing curriculum, they brought up a good question: “how do you deal with criticism without getting defensive?” It was a good question because this is something I wanted God to teach me about (and knew that he would teach me) when we started writing. with Brian and I, the majority of our criticism has come (rather ironically) from parents who are not actually involved in the study at all. While it is sometimes hard not to get defensive (or at least feel that way), it becomes easier with a few practical things in mind (and these would probably apply to most ministry situations): 1) There is probably at least a grain of truth in the criticism … so look for it. This means that you are free to say “thank you” when someone criticizes you, even if you aren’t convinced their criticism is all valid. (“Thanks for pointing out that this word might be a difficult one for some students. You may be right about that. I’ll think about that.”) 2) Look for trends before assuming the criticism is worth addressing. One offhand comment is not a trend. Several different people from different walks of life saying the same thing is a trend. 3) Find out more information about the situation that prompted the criticism. Background usually helps in determining how serious (or not) it is. (“Your son’s first language isn’t English? Wow, this must be a really challenging study for him.”) 4) Ask why. It is fair to ask for good reasons as to why a person does or doesn’t like something. (“So you don’t think that the kids will be able to use the cross-references? What specifically do you think your daughter might find difficult about that?) 5) Ask the person to come up with a constructive solution. (“So, if you were to word that question differently, how would you do it”?) 6) If you’re getting the impression that the person’s criticism may be coming from ignorance, I think it is fair to ask them to give you another chance. This is what I do the most with parents who have doubts: “You know, we really enjoy having parents sit in on our class. Would you like to join us sometime and observe your son’s small group?” This has led to a few parents “conversions” and it’s an approachable way to invite someone to educate themselves before criticizing further. 7) Don’t appeal to how much effort you have put in to serving. I don’t guilt people by turning it around so that they now feel bad for criticizing me after we’ve worked so hard, etc. This doesn’t help the situation and it doesn’t help you to move forward or grow, either. Better to smile and say thank you instead. 8) Ask God for grace. Some people are kind in their criticism and some are rude and lack grace. Ask God to help you extend grace to others when they do not extend it to you — because God has extended much more grace to you than you could ever give someone else.9) I have found it helpful to find 1-2 friends (usually also in ministry) who understand and can encourage you in a godly direction. I have had these friendships in the past and watch them turn into complaint sessions, so beware of that! But, usually it is helpful to find a friend who can both emphasize and point you toward God (without encouraging complaining). 10) Ultimately, however, dealing with criticism is not located in the realm of the practical but in the realm of the spiritual. Knowing that it is God’s opinion that ultimately matters, and that God sees the heart and judges justly, is really the best comfort when dealing with criticism. “Fear of man is a snare” but those who trust in God will not ultimately be shaken. So while it is good to be humble and sober when hearing criticism, it is not worth worrying over what others think or say. God knows the heart, and he judges justly. Note: Sorry, I have tried several times to format this and can’t get the spacing to work!
How many books will he bring home?
I appreciated this blog on what one spouse says to the other spouse after buying an obscene amount of books at ETS.
So far my hubby has comforted himself concerning our small book buying allowance by taking lots of free catalogues so that he can “still get the discount later” (meaning, I think, post-birthday money).
I’m proud of him for his self-restraint and can’t wait to see him tomorrow!
HT: Justin Taylor
Huggy Jesus
On of my co-workers found a new doll the other day that exemplifies the superficiality we try to stay away from at CDG. The doll’s name (I’m not kidding) is Huggy Jesus.
His tag reads:
Have you hugged Jesus today?
“In this day and age, introducing your child to the values of Jesus has become more and more important. Experiencing the comfort and hope of knowing that Jesus loves you and is always with you should not be relegated to one Sunday a week. Huggy Jesus was created so that children of all ages could experience the love of Jesus every single day. This very special collectible doll has changed the lives of people of all ages with this positive message of love and hope. Now you can bring Huggy Jesus into your child’s life and take the first step toward their learning about God. Let Jesus into your heart today with this extraordinary doll and feel the love every time you give him a hug!”
Almost 30
It hit me today that 30 happens in two days. This Saturday, I will have lived for a total of three decades. I don’t feel like I’m thirty; in fact part of me feels like I stopped getting older right around 25. But I am excited about the things that could happen to me in this decade — starting a family? Moving to Africa? Our first publication? May God be more glorified in my 30’s than he was in my 20’s.
30 Things I’m Thankful for (not necessarily in order):
1. my salvation
2. my husband
3. our home
4. our ministries (church and writing)
5. my job and co-workers
6. our small group
7. our families
8. our tenants, who are also friends
9. our educations
10. the junior highers we teach on Wednesdays
11. God’s grace at work in my life daily
12. the bible
13. the Holy Spirit
14. the volunteer team we work with on Wednesday nights
15. good books (even though I don’t have time to read them)
16. my piano
17. itunes
18. free caffeine at work
19. my husband…or since I already said that — our marriage
20. the opportunity to host Helen Roseveare at this year’s NatCon
21. the opportunity to go to Uganda in 2006
22. our new printer
23. Haley and Roger haven’t moved yet
24. I’m finally going to learn how to sew
25. friends I’ve had since college — we’ve been friends for a decade now! I should probably tell you all about my blog.
26. I Thess. 5:9-10, my new favorite verse of all time
27. the hope that I have in Jesus Christ
28. ice cream
29. breaking into a new salary bracket
30. birthday presents
Forgiveness in Uganda?
For those of you who don’t know, there has been a long-standing conflict in northern Uganda (the motivation for the powerful documentary called “The Invisible Children”). Perhaps this is the beginning of the end of the conflict. BBC has a good article on the rebels asking for “forgiveness”: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7080735.stm
Time will tell whether or not it is sincere.
Bizarre but hilarious
I’m too tired to post anything else at the moment — another long night working on curric. I got this off someone else’s blog…and had to share it.
Cutest. Thing. Ever.
Right, I do have one other loyal reader…so this post is dedicated to my loyal blog reader and baby loving friend, Haley.
A couple we know has a little boy who’s about 2 or 3 years old. Here’s his rendition of “Holy, Holy Holy”. (Yes, his use of the word “Trinity” is astounding for a child of his age).
I’m BA-ACK!
No time to blog…and likely won’t have that much more time now. But as long as I feel like I don’t have to say something profound every time I sit down to the computer, I might be able to throw something out there every once in awhile.
Updates:
1) I have a new job. I love it. I now develop new resources for the organization I used to contract for.
2) I learned today that I am no more a “natural” at sewing than at photography. I’m naturally bad at both and will have to work hard if I am going to be good at either.
3) I am reading “The Gospel for Real Life” by Jerry Bridges and it is very good. He has a way of making basic truth fresh. It’s like reading a primer in the Gospel. It is like a beefed-up version of Mahaney’s Cross-Centered Life, but it is still very easy to understand. There’s just more content in how every part of the gospel relates to our lives.
4) My grandmother (Oma) died a year ago yesterday. It is strange since she lost her mind years before that and I had thought of her as sort of dead for about 8 years before she actually died. I saw her once in those 8 years. Her circumstance is a good example of something I was talking about with friends tonight — how we are whole people spiritually, physically, and mentally. Oma’s problems were all interrelated — medication she was taking, mind loss, and spiritual confusion/oppression, and her own sin issues. Reflecting on her life is disturbing. Is it bad to wish we were never related????
5) I want to make pumpkin bread. Does anyone have a good recipe?
6) I am currently writing curriculum with my husband for high school students. We are writing inductive Bible Studies for high schoolers. It’s been fun but stressful (a ton of work)! The material is currently being piloted in a few different church settings, in a public school in Ireland, and as a Saturday morning Bible study for some public school kids. It’s been good to hear back from the public school pilots in particular.
7) Hubby and I are still planning to go back to E. Africa (Uganda) in the future (2009-2010)…
No kids yet.
9) My husband is probably still my only reader on this blog.
10) I’m taking a parenting class at church and enjoying it. But that’s classified information. Not that it matters since my readers include: my husband. That’s all.
