Brian and I have enjoyed going to childbirth classes at our local hospital, but one thing that Brian has been kind of bummed about is being referred to as the “birth partner” each class. We realize that the hospital uses that term rather than “husband” or even the more generic “father” in order to cover their bases and keep PC. However, Brian is not merely a “birth partner” that I, the mother, chose in order to help me get through L&D come June. He is the committed Dad of our little boy who has covenanted with me to be a parent of all the kids we have for as long as we both shall live. Big difference between that and a “birth partner” — he’s a “for-life” partner for both me and all of our kiddos!

Anyway, I was reminded of that today when I read the following quote from CNN, in an article about why fathers (African American dads in particular) need to be honored in our culture as Dads:

“It has gotten to the point that a mother is considered essential in a family, but a father is optional, expendable, and increasingly irrelevant.”

For the rest of the article, check it out here.

When it comes to doctors, I tend to be hit or miss. But I have to say: my OB/GYN is a home run! She’s fabulous. She’s always upbeat and down to earth, has never missed a beat when I’ve asked her a question, and exudes tons of confidence (which will be a huge blessing to me in L&D come June). I always leave her office smiling. Plus, she’s just fun to talk to and is completely capable of carrying on a non-medical conversation over things we have in common. I love it! She listens and treats me like a real person.

Contra the other two medical experiences I had today. I must say that generally the medical industry takes the cake for asking the dumbest questions with the straightest faces. My second two appointments were both strike outs. One was the insurance lady that came to our house to do our medical exams for our life insurance. After parking in front of our driveway, the medic proceeded to ask us some of the following question….with a straight face, keep in mind.

(To Brian) In the past five years have you experienced any anemia or abnormalities in your breasts? (Brian: “Uh…..my….excuse me??”)

(To Brian, after he’s told her his birthdate is in 1980) So, you’ve had asthma since 1981. And who was your primary care physician at the time? (Brian: Well, my mother really. I was one year old. I don’t remember any other doctor.)

So you’ve had seasonal allergies, Brian…for how long? (Brian: Well, since I was born, but if I say that you’re going to ask me who my primary care physician was again, so why don’t we just say since I was 10…I can remember that doctor’s name.)

(To both of us) So you’ve been seeing a chiropractor for preventative care…and what was the recovery time on that?
(Well, it was preventative care, so there was nothing to recover from…)
So you’re still in recovery?
(Well, no, there was nothing wrong. It was to prevent back pain.)
So recovery time of say…three years?

(To both of us) So you have seasonal allergies…and what’s the recovery time on that? (Well, it depends on the time of year, I suppose.) So a few months of recovery? (Uh, why don’t you just write “one week.”)

(To me – keep in mind I’m obviously 6 months pregnant) And have you noticed any abnormalities or changes in your menstrual cycle the past few months? (Uh, did she think that I stuffed a basketball under my shirt for fun before she came over? I don’t think I even dignified that with an answer.)

At least she didn’t ask Brian that last question. I think his funny, sarcastic remarks loosened her up over time so she was at least able to laugh at herself by the end of the “exam.”

Which makes her preferable to medic #3, the optometrist I saw today:

Ma’am, I’m definitely seeing some inflammation in the right eye.
Yes. Yes, that’s what I told you when we came in here. It’s inflamed because the contac you gave me last week was bad, the prescription itself is too strong, and you just shined a bazillion-watt stream of white light into my right eye. Of course it’s inflamed. You didn’t need to blind me to tell me that.
Ma’am, I’m going to have to write you a prescription here so that we can get that inflammation to go down.
No, really, I can tell you what caused it and how to fix it; replace the contac lens and re-write the prescription. Then it will be fine.
Ma’am, I can’t give you any contacs until we clear up the inflammation. I’m going to write you a prescription for some eye drops.
Well, you’ll have to give me a new contac because you threw out my right lens so that I am now blind in my right eye. It is illegal for me to drive like that.
Well, ok, I can give you a daily lens just for today.
Well, what do you think is causing the inflammation then, if it’s not the contac?
I don’t know…but I am definitely clearing that up with these eye drops, because I am seeing some serious inflammation in the right eye. Come see me in a week.
Sigh. Do I have to?

I’ve noticed I have a tendency to talk with with a southern accent when I talk to people from the South. The other day, I heard the voicemail message of someone with a Southern accent and I started talking like I had one when I left a message! Yikes. A friend of mine was telling me that she does that too…I thought I was the only one! I wish I could have picked up a British accent while in the U.K…

I love this picture from Uganda. This is a group of seminary students that we gave the book “50 Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die” to. This was the seminary we visited. We liked them a lot; they liked us too but won’t “hire” Brian because we’re not Presbyterian. Bummer. We love that they are spreading a passion for the supremacy of God in all things through Jesus Christ all over East Africa!

I think this explains a lot. It definitely explains why I’m so jumpy around loud noises.

By the way, her shirt says “thank you” in French on it.

Love you, Mom!

I shared with my discipleship group the following quote tonight (in the context of discussing Romans 8:28 — And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.):

What would our lives look like, if we feared nothing but God? What difference would it make if we no longer feared truth, the cost of discipleship, repentance, change, the future? What difference would it make if we fixed our desires not on popularity and money and predictability and control but on being conformed to the image of God’s Son? What do fearless people look like…Fearless people are influential people. They stand out. They are convincing. Deep down in your heart, wouldn’t you love to be unleashed to live boldly for the Lord? Wouldn’t you love to be intimidated no longer, but upright and courageous for God? Wouldn’t it be satisfying to live right out loud?

Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr.

I did a bit of reflection this morning on several of the ways that Jesus Christ embodies the identity and mission of the Israel. One disclaimer: many of these points have their roots in Dr. Greg Beale’s teaching at Wheaton College, so I can’t claim full originality here.

1. FULFILLS COVENANT PROMISES TO ABRAHAM AND DAVID
a. Matt 1:1 The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
b. Son of Abraham
i. Gen 22:18 and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.”
ii. Gal 3:16 Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, “And to offsprings,” referring to many, but referring to one, “And to your offspring,” who is Christ.
c. Son of David
i. 2 Sam 7:12 When your days are fulfilled and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom…
ii. Rev 22:16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star.” [cf. also Ps 132:11; Isa 11:1; Jer 23:5; Luke 1:32, 69; John 7:42; Acts 2:30; 13:23; Rom 1:3; 2 Tim 2:8.]

2. THE “SERVANT” OF ISAIAH 40-55
a. Isa 49:3-6 And he said to me, ‘You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified…It is too light a thing that you should be my servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob and to bring back the preserved of Israel; I will make you as a light for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.’
b. Isa 52:13 Behold, my servant shall act wisely; he shall be high and lifted up, and shall be exalted.
c. Luke 2:29 “Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; 30 for my eyes have seen your salvation 31 that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, 32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.”

3. SON OF MAN
a. Dan 7:13 “I saw in the night visions, and behold, with the clouds of heaven there came one like a son of man, and he came to the Ancient of Days and was presented before him. 14 And to him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve him; his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom one that shall not be destroyed.
b. Mark 14:62 And Jesus said, “I am, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven.”

4. SON OF GOD
a. Title for Israel (Exod 4:22 Then you shall say to Pharaoh, ‘Thus says the LORD, Israel is my firstborn son,)
b. Title for King of Israel (Ps 2:7 I will tell of the decree: The LORD said to me, “You are my Son; today I have begotten you.)
c. Mark 1:1 The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.
d. Heb 1:5 For to which of the angels did God ever say, “You are my Son, today I have begotten you”? Or again, “I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son”?

5. BORN UNDER THE LAW
a. Gal 4:4 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.

6. FAITHFUL IN WILDERNESS TESTING
a. Matt 4:1-11 Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’” [Deut 6:13]

7. FULFILLS THE LAW
a. Matt 5:17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
b. Rom 10:4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

8. LAST/SECOND ADAM
a. Luke 3:23-4:1 Jesus, when he began his ministry, was about thirty years of age, being the son (as was supposed) of Joseph … 38 the son of Adam, the son of God. 4:1 And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness…
b. 1 Cor 15:45 Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
c. Rom 5:14 Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.

9. CHOSE 12 DISCIPLES- RECONSTITUTED ISRAEL
a. Mark 3:14 And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach
b. Luke 22:29 and I assign to you, as my Father assigned to me, a kingdom, 30 that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

May I pose a rhetorical question: What is biblical fellowship? From what I see around me in evangelical culture, I could come up with a variety of definitions or descriptions:

–Christians hanging out together
–Christian friendships
–Potlucks/meals together
–Accountability or prayer time
–Bible study
–Churchgoing

All of which are good things. None of which are necessarily indicative of biblical fellowship, because biblical fellowship is the quality of relationships among Christians as described in God’s Word. “Forgive one another from the heart,” “confess your sins to one another, that you may be healed,” “if your brother has an offense against you, leave your offering on the alter and go make it right” (Kristin paraphrase), “give generously,” “exhort one another while it is still called ‘today’, lest you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin,” “practice hospitality,” “build yourselves/one another up in the most holy faith,” “do not let the sun go down on your anger,” “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to become angry,” “reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing,” “bear one another’s burdens,” “in humility, consider others before yourself,” “serve one another in love” … these are all paraphrases; you get the picture.

Note that these things can be done anywhere, at any time. They can be done in church or outside of church. They can be done in a small group setting or outside of a small group setting. They aren’t something we need to “put on” on Sundays but are meant to indicate that the Holy Spirit is fellowshipping among Christians anywhere, at anytime. Some of them we tend to do well at; others, not so much. When was the last time you saw someone in church put down their communion cup and walk over to a brother they had offended in order to confess it and make it right? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or drawn out…but I’ve never seen it done. I’ve done it only once myself, and I probably only because I didn’t have to walk anywhere in front of people to do it (my husband was sitting right next to me). Or when was the last time you or I carried someone’s burden? I mean, not just listened and said “thanks for sharing, I’ll pray for you” but REALLY carried it? I mean — followed up on the struggle later, cried with them, took the time to open the Scripture to them or to fast for their situation as appropriate, or pray with them right then and there in the midst of them telling you about the struggle? I’m not talking about playing the Savior to someone or adopting their problems; I mean taking the opportunity to self-sacrificially point them away from yourself and to the Savior.

I think many times we let our Christian friendships stop at the superficial — therefore our Christian friendships can often look like “clean” non-Christian friendships. We appreciate them for safety more than for faith-building–perhaps due to pride (I don’t want anyone to know I struggle with that!), perhaps due to fear of man (the last time I took a risk in this group/friendship, it was awkward), perhaps due to immaturity (I don’t know how to help this person or encourage them…what if I say the wrong thing?). These are some things that have prevented me from ministering to others in the past. Another one is selfishness: I’m “too busy” to point someone to the Savior. I don’t have time to help carry their burden. I am selfish with my time and think of it as mine to guard rather than God’s to use for His glory.

Someone told me this story last night: he was in a guys’ small group time and one person shared a struggle. He had some thoughts come to mind to encourage and exhort this person. He debated over whether or not to share them; to do so would be to take a risk. Would he step on someone’s toes? What if he offended the person accidentally? He decided to be intentional and take the risk (and follow the command of Scripture to exhort in an appropriate way). As he talked, the person didn’t say much in response. So he approached the person the next day: was it ok (what he had said)? This guy responded — “yes, and in fact it was really encouraging to my faith. I shared it with my wife later and she was encouraged, too.” This person was faithful and God blessed it. Imagine that…when we obey God’s fellowship commands and stick our necks out in obedience, faith is built up!

Another time, a friend and I were worried about another friend of ours who had shared some deep personal struggles. We didn’t know how to help her, so we decided to prayer walk together for this person. We walked around our neighborhood and prayed for awhile about everything we had been worried about for our friend; our hearts were lifted, we were encouraged to leave the burden with the Lord, and we carried the burden sacrificially for our friend: carried it to Christ himself! Not that I am a great example of biblical fellowship by any stretch of the imagination–but God was gracious when we obeyed his command together to bear someone else’s burden.

So, my exhortation to myself and to our Christian sub-culture is — be intentional! Build one another up in the most holy faith! Take a risk–honor God and His word by obeying it fully (more about that later) and then see what God does (yes, it is a risk and risks take faith — in fact, I believe that is the point!) But even if it feels uncomfortable or we make a mistake or it doesn’t go how I planned–it’s worth it to obey God! And it’s the only way we’ll grow into making safe Christian friendships into fruitful places of faith-building fellowship!

1) It is a fantastic story. Brian and I were gripped from the opening scene (Is there really “a way to be good again? What is it?” You can just feel the crisis/redemption element shaping up immediately). For those who know about the Brian test — he stayed awake from start to finish. The plot is heavy, but there is a redemptive element toward the end. Brian and I were literally cheering in the living room during the one fight scene (those who have seen it know which one). I cried unabashedly during some scenes. Very satisfying.

2) Great character development. Rich dialog and moving characters. You feel for each one of them (except for the Taliban figures, but you’re not supposed to feel much empathy with them!) –there are some distinctly “bad” characters, one distinctly “good” character (the “Christ figure” of the movie), but most characters are both–very real.

3) Satisfying symbolism — in screenplay, dialog, and cinematography. For those of us who thrive on the figurative–it’s great. Some sacrificial/Christlike symbolism (although I should clarify that it is a distinctively Muslim movie, and there is no Christian symbolism intended in the movie–but as a Christian, I found the symbolism richer than intended, perhaps.)

4) Spiritual impetus — every night since we have watched this movie, I have prayed for more missionaries to go to Afghanistan and for God to protect the ones that are already there. The movie does such an excellent job of portraying the oppression (spiritual and political) that exists in Afghanistan without dehumanizing the country or stripping the Afghani people of their dignity. Well done. As a side note–interestingly, the movie portrays Afghani Islam as being multifaceted — fundamentalist, folk, and nominal Muslims are all incorporated into the movie, and Islam is painted as having both a harsh, hypocritical side as well as a merciful and forgiving side.

5) Educational? — I am not sure about this one since I don’t know enough facts about the country or its faith to know how fairly the movie represents it all. However, the basic historical facts (the Russian takeover, and the treatment of the Hazara people, for example) are true, and that was educational for me.

6) Gritty without being graphic. This movie was SO well done in that respect. There are some very “heavy” things that take place, but you never actually see most of them because the graphic, gruesome details are subtly replaced, which left even more of an emotional impact on me than if I had seen some gory, gratuitous, overly dramatic murder or rape scene.

All in all, this was probably one of the most well-done, satisfying, and moving movies I’ve ever seen. The Tabbs highly recommend it.

PS — One bonus reason to watch–it is $1 at McDonald’s to rent–we are big Redbox/Netflix fans.

“Jesus Christ is like a super-delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Your favorite kind of peanut butter, your favorite kind of jelly, and your favorite kind of bread.   We are like the clear plastic sandwich bag that holds Jesus inside. In other words, we are the chosen vessels of Christ to this hungry, starving world, and our job is to let the wonderful Jesus inside us show through our baggy selves.   We must remember humility, remembering that when you hand someone a PB&J sandwich, what they really need most is the sandwich, not the bag. Really, it is the PB&J that is so very exciting. Who even really thinks about the bag unless the bag is defective somehow?    So go share Jesus with people! He’s super-exciting and they need Him. And let the emphasis be on the PB&J (Jesus) inside, not the bag (yourself). We just need to hold Jesus and be see-through.”   

The person above wrote us a much longer email sharing the talent that she has for art and offering us her abilities. All I could picture was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the cross. I have to admit I let the opportunity pass us  by.  CDG’s curriculum may not use enough kinesthetic activities or give their teachers enough “helps” sometimes, but I’m so thankful that our curriculum prioritizes telling kids the beautiful truth about who God is to kids. And hopefully, at my job, I can constructively help with the less important details of kinesthetic activities, teacher prep and training, etc.