An Eye Toward Canaan…

Brian and I have enjoyed going to childbirth classes at our local hospital, but one thing that Brian has been kind of bummed about is being referred to as the “birth partner” each class. We realize that the hospital uses that term rather than “husband” or even the more generic “father” in order to cover their bases and keep PC. However, Brian is not merely a “birth partner” that I, the mother, chose in order to help me get through L&D come June. He is the committed Dad of our little boy who has covenanted with me to be a parent of all the kids we have for as long as we both shall live. Big difference between that and a “birth partner” — he’s a “for-life” partner for both me and all of our kiddos!

Anyway, I was reminded of that today when I read the following quote from CNN, in an article about why fathers (African American dads in particular) need to be honored in our culture as Dads:

“It has gotten to the point that a mother is considered essential in a family, but a father is optional, expendable, and increasingly irrelevant.”

For the rest of the article, check it out here.

When it comes to doctors, I tend to be hit or miss. But I have to say: my OB/GYN is a home run! She’s fabulous. She’s always upbeat and down to earth, has never missed a beat when I’ve asked her a question, and exudes tons of confidence (which will be a huge blessing to me in L&D come June). I always leave her office smiling. Plus, she’s just fun to talk to and is completely capable of carrying on a non-medical conversation over things we have in common. I love it! She listens and treats me like a real person.

Contra the other two medical experiences I had today. I must say that generally the medical industry takes the cake for asking the dumbest questions with the straightest faces. My second two appointments were both strike outs. One was the insurance lady that came to our house to do our medical exams for our life insurance. After parking in front of our driveway, the medic proceeded to ask us some of the following question….with a straight face, keep in mind.

(To Brian) In the past five years have you experienced any anemia or abnormalities in your breasts? (Brian: “Uh…..my….excuse me??”)

(To Brian, after he’s told her his birthdate is in 1980) So, you’ve had asthma since 1981. And who was your primary care physician at the time? (Brian: Well, my mother really. I was one year old. I don’t remember any other doctor.)

So you’ve had seasonal allergies, Brian…for how long? (Brian: Well, since I was born, but if I say that you’re going to ask me who my primary care physician was again, so why don’t we just say since I was 10…I can remember that doctor’s name.)

(To both of us) So you’ve been seeing a chiropractor for preventative care…and what was the recovery time on that?
(Well, it was preventative care, so there was nothing to recover from…)
So you’re still in recovery?
(Well, no, there was nothing wrong. It was to prevent back pain.)
So recovery time of say…three years?

(To both of us) So you have seasonal allergies…and what’s the recovery time on that? (Well, it depends on the time of year, I suppose.) So a few months of recovery? (Uh, why don’t you just write “one week.”)

(To me – keep in mind I’m obviously 6 months pregnant) And have you noticed any abnormalities or changes in your menstrual cycle the past few months? (Uh, did she think that I stuffed a basketball under my shirt for fun before she came over? I don’t think I even dignified that with an answer.)

At least she didn’t ask Brian that last question. I think his funny, sarcastic remarks loosened her up over time so she was at least able to laugh at herself by the end of the “exam.”

Which makes her preferable to medic #3, the optometrist I saw today:

Ma’am, I’m definitely seeing some inflammation in the right eye.
Yes. Yes, that’s what I told you when we came in here. It’s inflamed because the contac you gave me last week was bad, the prescription itself is too strong, and you just shined a bazillion-watt stream of white light into my right eye. Of course it’s inflamed. You didn’t need to blind me to tell me that.
Ma’am, I’m going to have to write you a prescription here so that we can get that inflammation to go down.
No, really, I can tell you what caused it and how to fix it; replace the contac lens and re-write the prescription. Then it will be fine.
Ma’am, I can’t give you any contacs until we clear up the inflammation. I’m going to write you a prescription for some eye drops.
Well, you’ll have to give me a new contac because you threw out my right lens so that I am now blind in my right eye. It is illegal for me to drive like that.
Well, ok, I can give you a daily lens just for today.
Well, what do you think is causing the inflammation then, if it’s not the contac?
I don’t know…but I am definitely clearing that up with these eye drops, because I am seeing some serious inflammation in the right eye. Come see me in a week.
Sigh. Do I have to?

I’ve noticed I have a tendency to talk with with a southern accent when I talk to people from the South. The other day, I heard the voicemail message of someone with a Southern accent and I started talking like I had one when I left a message! Yikes. A friend of mine was telling me that she does that too…I thought I was the only one! I wish I could have picked up a British accent while in the U.K…

I love this picture from Uganda. This is a group of seminary students that we gave the book “50 Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die” to. This was the seminary we visited. We liked them a lot; they liked us too but won’t “hire” Brian because we’re not Presbyterian. Bummer. We love that they are spreading a passion for the supremacy of God in all things through Jesus Christ all over East Africa!

I think this explains a lot. It definitely explains why I’m so jumpy around loud noises.

By the way, her shirt says “thank you” in French on it.

Love you, Mom!

I shared with my discipleship group the following quote tonight (in the context of discussing Romans 8:28 — And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.):

What would our lives look like, if we feared nothing but God? What difference would it make if we no longer feared truth, the cost of discipleship, repentance, change, the future? What difference would it make if we fixed our desires not on popularity and money and predictability and control but on being conformed to the image of God’s Son? What do fearless people look like…Fearless people are influential people. They stand out. They are convincing. Deep down in your heart, wouldn’t you love to be unleashed to live boldly for the Lord? Wouldn’t you love to be intimidated no longer, but upright and courageous for God? Wouldn’t it be satisfying to live right out loud?

Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr.

May I pose a rhetorical question: What is biblical fellowship? From what I see around me in evangelical culture, I could come up with a variety of definitions or descriptions:

–Christians hanging out together
–Christian friendships
–Potlucks/meals together
–Accountability or prayer time
–Bible study
–Churchgoing

All of which are good things. None of which are necessarily indicative of biblical fellowship, because biblical fellowship is the quality of relationships among Christians as described in God’s Word. “Forgive one another from the heart,” “confess your sins to one another, that you may be healed,” “if your brother has an offense against you, leave your offering on the alter and go make it right” (Kristin paraphrase), “give generously,” “exhort one another while it is still called ‘today’, lest you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin,” “practice hospitality,” “build yourselves/one another up in the most holy faith,” “do not let the sun go down on your anger,” “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to become angry,” “reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing,” “bear one another’s burdens,” “in humility, consider others before yourself,” “serve one another in love” … these are all paraphrases; you get the picture.

Note that these things can be done anywhere, at any time. They can be done in church or outside of church. They can be done in a small group setting or outside of a small group setting. They aren’t something we need to “put on” on Sundays but are meant to indicate that the Holy Spirit is fellowshipping among Christians anywhere, at anytime. Some of them we tend to do well at; others, not so much. When was the last time you saw someone in church put down their communion cup and walk over to a brother they had offended in order to confess it and make it right? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or drawn out…but I’ve never seen it done. I’ve done it only once myself, and I probably only because I didn’t have to walk anywhere in front of people to do it (my husband was sitting right next to me). Or when was the last time you or I carried someone’s burden? I mean, not just listened and said “thanks for sharing, I’ll pray for you” but REALLY carried it? I mean — followed up on the struggle later, cried with them, took the time to open the Scripture to them or to fast for their situation as appropriate, or pray with them right then and there in the midst of them telling you about the struggle? I’m not talking about playing the Savior to someone or adopting their problems; I mean taking the opportunity to self-sacrificially point them away from yourself and to the Savior.

I think many times we let our Christian friendships stop at the superficial — therefore our Christian friendships can often look like “clean” non-Christian friendships. We appreciate them for safety more than for faith-building–perhaps due to pride (I don’t want anyone to know I struggle with that!), perhaps due to fear of man (the last time I took a risk in this group/friendship, it was awkward), perhaps due to immaturity (I don’t know how to help this person or encourage them…what if I say the wrong thing?). These are some things that have prevented me from ministering to others in the past. Another one is selfishness: I’m “too busy” to point someone to the Savior. I don’t have time to help carry their burden. I am selfish with my time and think of it as mine to guard rather than God’s to use for His glory.

Someone told me this story last night: he was in a guys’ small group time and one person shared a struggle. He had some thoughts come to mind to encourage and exhort this person. He debated over whether or not to share them; to do so would be to take a risk. Would he step on someone’s toes? What if he offended the person accidentally? He decided to be intentional and take the risk (and follow the command of Scripture to exhort in an appropriate way). As he talked, the person didn’t say much in response. So he approached the person the next day: was it ok (what he had said)? This guy responded — “yes, and in fact it was really encouraging to my faith. I shared it with my wife later and she was encouraged, too.” This person was faithful and God blessed it. Imagine that…when we obey God’s fellowship commands and stick our necks out in obedience, faith is built up!

Another time, a friend and I were worried about another friend of ours who had shared some deep personal struggles. We didn’t know how to help her, so we decided to prayer walk together for this person. We walked around our neighborhood and prayed for awhile about everything we had been worried about for our friend; our hearts were lifted, we were encouraged to leave the burden with the Lord, and we carried the burden sacrificially for our friend: carried it to Christ himself! Not that I am a great example of biblical fellowship by any stretch of the imagination–but God was gracious when we obeyed his command together to bear someone else’s burden.

So, my exhortation to myself and to our Christian sub-culture is — be intentional! Build one another up in the most holy faith! Take a risk–honor God and His word by obeying it fully (more about that later) and then see what God does (yes, it is a risk and risks take faith — in fact, I believe that is the point!) But even if it feels uncomfortable or we make a mistake or it doesn’t go how I planned–it’s worth it to obey God! And it’s the only way we’ll grow into making safe Christian friendships into fruitful places of faith-building fellowship!

I appreciated this blog on what one spouse says to the other spouse after buying an obscene amount of books at ETS.

So far my hubby has comforted himself concerning our small book buying allowance by taking lots of free catalogues so that he can “still get the discount later” (meaning, I think, post-birthday money).

I’m proud of him for his self-restraint and can’t wait to see him tomorrow!

HT: Justin Taylor

On of my co-workers found a new doll the other day that exemplifies the superficiality we try to stay away from at CDG. The doll’s name (I’m not kidding) is Huggy Jesus.

His tag reads:
Have you hugged Jesus today?

“In this day and age, introducing your child to the values of Jesus has become more and more important. Experiencing the comfort and hope of knowing that Jesus loves you and is always with you should not be relegated to one Sunday a week. Huggy Jesus was created so that children of all ages could experience the love of Jesus every single day. This very special collectible doll has changed the lives of people of all ages with this positive message of love and hope. Now you can bring Huggy Jesus into your child’s life and take the first step toward their learning about God. Let Jesus into your heart today with this extraordinary doll and feel the love every time you give him a hug!”

It hit me today that 30 happens in two days. This Saturday, I will have lived for a total of three decades. I don’t feel like I’m thirty; in fact part of me feels like I stopped getting older right around 25. But I am excited about the things that could happen to me in this decade — starting a family? Moving to Africa? Our first publication? May God be more glorified in my 30’s than he was in my 20’s.

30 Things I’m Thankful for (not necessarily in order):

1. my salvation
2. my husband
3. our home
4. our ministries (church and writing)
5. my job and co-workers
6. our small group
7. our families
8. our tenants, who are also friends
9. our educations
10. the junior highers we teach on Wednesdays
11. God’s grace at work in my life daily
12. the bible
13. the Holy Spirit
14. the volunteer team we work with on Wednesday nights
15. good books (even though I don’t have time to read them)
16. my piano
17. itunes
18. free caffeine at work
19. my husband…or since I already said that — our marriage
20. the opportunity to host Helen Roseveare at this year’s NatCon
21. the opportunity to go to Uganda in 2006
22. our new printer
23. Haley and Roger haven’t moved yet
24. I’m finally going to learn how to sew
25. friends I’ve had since college — we’ve been friends for a decade now! I should probably tell you all about my blog.
26. I Thess. 5:9-10, my new favorite verse of all time
27. the hope that I have in Jesus Christ
28. ice cream
29. breaking into a new salary bracket
30. birthday presents