I suppose 1 out of 3 isn’t bad.
When it comes to doctors, I tend to be hit or miss. But I have to say: my OB/GYN is a home run! She’s fabulous. She’s always upbeat and down to earth, has never missed a beat when I’ve asked her a question, and exudes tons of confidence (which will be a huge blessing to me in L&D come June). I always leave her office smiling. Plus, she’s just fun to talk to and is completely capable of carrying on a non-medical conversation over things we have in common. I love it! She listens and treats me like a real person.
Contra the other two medical experiences I had today. I must say that generally the medical industry takes the cake for asking the dumbest questions with the straightest faces. My second two appointments were both strike outs. One was the insurance lady that came to our house to do our medical exams for our life insurance. After parking in front of our driveway, the medic proceeded to ask us some of the following question….with a straight face, keep in mind.
(To Brian) In the past five years have you experienced any anemia or abnormalities in your breasts? (Brian: “Uh…..my….excuse me??”)
(To Brian, after he’s told her his birthdate is in 1980) So, you’ve had asthma since 1981. And who was your primary care physician at the time? (Brian: Well, my mother really. I was one year old. I don’t remember any other doctor.)
So you’ve had seasonal allergies, Brian…for how long? (Brian: Well, since I was born, but if I say that you’re going to ask me who my primary care physician was again, so why don’t we just say since I was 10…I can remember that doctor’s name.)
(To both of us) So you’ve been seeing a chiropractor for preventative care…and what was the recovery time on that?
(Well, it was preventative care, so there was nothing to recover from…)
So you’re still in recovery?
(Well, no, there was nothing wrong. It was to prevent back pain.)
So recovery time of say…three years?
(To both of us) So you have seasonal allergies…and what’s the recovery time on that? (Well, it depends on the time of year, I suppose.) So a few months of recovery? (Uh, why don’t you just write “one week.”)
(To me – keep in mind I’m obviously 6 months pregnant) And have you noticed any abnormalities or changes in your menstrual cycle the past few months? (Uh, did she think that I stuffed a basketball under my shirt for fun before she came over? I don’t think I even dignified that with an answer.)
At least she didn’t ask Brian that last question. I think his funny, sarcastic remarks loosened her up over time so she was at least able to laugh at herself by the end of the “exam.”
Which makes her preferable to medic #3, the optometrist I saw today:
Ma’am, I’m definitely seeing some inflammation in the right eye.
Yes. Yes, that’s what I told you when we came in here. It’s inflamed because the contac you gave me last week was bad, the prescription itself is too strong, and you just shined a bazillion-watt stream of white light into my right eye. Of course it’s inflamed. You didn’t need to blind me to tell me that.
Ma’am, I’m going to have to write you a prescription here so that we can get that inflammation to go down.
No, really, I can tell you what caused it and how to fix it; replace the contac lens and re-write the prescription. Then it will be fine.
Ma’am, I can’t give you any contacs until we clear up the inflammation. I’m going to write you a prescription for some eye drops.
Well, you’ll have to give me a new contac because you threw out my right lens so that I am now blind in my right eye. It is illegal for me to drive like that.
Well, ok, I can give you a daily lens just for today.
Well, what do you think is causing the inflammation then, if it’s not the contac?
I don’t know…but I am definitely clearing that up with these eye drops, because I am seeing some serious inflammation in the right eye. Come see me in a week.
Sigh. Do I have to?
