An Eye Toward Canaan…

May I pose a rhetorical question: What is biblical fellowship? From what I see around me in evangelical culture, I could come up with a variety of definitions or descriptions:

–Christians hanging out together
–Christian friendships
–Potlucks/meals together
–Accountability or prayer time
–Bible study
–Churchgoing

All of which are good things. None of which are necessarily indicative of biblical fellowship, because biblical fellowship is the quality of relationships among Christians as described in God’s Word. “Forgive one another from the heart,” “confess your sins to one another, that you may be healed,” “if your brother has an offense against you, leave your offering on the alter and go make it right” (Kristin paraphrase), “give generously,” “exhort one another while it is still called ‘today’, lest you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin,” “practice hospitality,” “build yourselves/one another up in the most holy faith,” “do not let the sun go down on your anger,” “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to become angry,” “reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing,” “bear one another’s burdens,” “in humility, consider others before yourself,” “serve one another in love” … these are all paraphrases; you get the picture.

Note that these things can be done anywhere, at any time. They can be done in church or outside of church. They can be done in a small group setting or outside of a small group setting. They aren’t something we need to “put on” on Sundays but are meant to indicate that the Holy Spirit is fellowshipping among Christians anywhere, at anytime. Some of them we tend to do well at; others, not so much. When was the last time you saw someone in church put down their communion cup and walk over to a brother they had offended in order to confess it and make it right? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or drawn out…but I’ve never seen it done. I’ve done it only once myself, and I probably only because I didn’t have to walk anywhere in front of people to do it (my husband was sitting right next to me). Or when was the last time you or I carried someone’s burden? I mean, not just listened and said “thanks for sharing, I’ll pray for you” but REALLY carried it? I mean — followed up on the struggle later, cried with them, took the time to open the Scripture to them or to fast for their situation as appropriate, or pray with them right then and there in the midst of them telling you about the struggle? I’m not talking about playing the Savior to someone or adopting their problems; I mean taking the opportunity to self-sacrificially point them away from yourself and to the Savior.

I think many times we let our Christian friendships stop at the superficial — therefore our Christian friendships can often look like “clean” non-Christian friendships. We appreciate them for safety more than for faith-building–perhaps due to pride (I don’t want anyone to know I struggle with that!), perhaps due to fear of man (the last time I took a risk in this group/friendship, it was awkward), perhaps due to immaturity (I don’t know how to help this person or encourage them…what if I say the wrong thing?). These are some things that have prevented me from ministering to others in the past. Another one is selfishness: I’m “too busy” to point someone to the Savior. I don’t have time to help carry their burden. I am selfish with my time and think of it as mine to guard rather than God’s to use for His glory.

Someone told me this story last night: he was in a guys’ small group time and one person shared a struggle. He had some thoughts come to mind to encourage and exhort this person. He debated over whether or not to share them; to do so would be to take a risk. Would he step on someone’s toes? What if he offended the person accidentally? He decided to be intentional and take the risk (and follow the command of Scripture to exhort in an appropriate way). As he talked, the person didn’t say much in response. So he approached the person the next day: was it ok (what he had said)? This guy responded — “yes, and in fact it was really encouraging to my faith. I shared it with my wife later and she was encouraged, too.” This person was faithful and God blessed it. Imagine that…when we obey God’s fellowship commands and stick our necks out in obedience, faith is built up!

Another time, a friend and I were worried about another friend of ours who had shared some deep personal struggles. We didn’t know how to help her, so we decided to prayer walk together for this person. We walked around our neighborhood and prayed for awhile about everything we had been worried about for our friend; our hearts were lifted, we were encouraged to leave the burden with the Lord, and we carried the burden sacrificially for our friend: carried it to Christ himself! Not that I am a great example of biblical fellowship by any stretch of the imagination–but God was gracious when we obeyed his command together to bear someone else’s burden.

So, my exhortation to myself and to our Christian sub-culture is — be intentional! Build one another up in the most holy faith! Take a risk–honor God and His word by obeying it fully (more about that later) and then see what God does (yes, it is a risk and risks take faith — in fact, I believe that is the point!) But even if it feels uncomfortable or we make a mistake or it doesn’t go how I planned–it’s worth it to obey God! And it’s the only way we’ll grow into making safe Christian friendships into fruitful places of faith-building fellowship!