P.S.
I don’t know why the comments turned off on my last blog…hm…if you wanted to comment you can do so on this post. Sorry!
To go or not to go…
Sometimes the Bible just doesn’t give “easy answers” for the very real questions of practical life. What Christians should do when invited to a gay wedding, a gay adoption party, or a “we’re moving in together” celebration is one of those issues that Scripture doesn’t directly address with a clear cut answer. To “go” might be seen as support for the immoral decision being celebrated. To “decline” might appear judgmental and unloving. A friend of mine was recently invited to such an event. Although I’m not in a similar situation right now, I know that I will be eventually, and so now is a good time to take the opportunity to think about what principles I would want to determine my response by. I’m still thinking about it, but after reflecting on several conversations with homosexual and “pagan” (low/no exposure to Christianity) friends in the past few years, here are some of my current thoughts:
1. I want to ask the deeper question. “Do I go or not?” is the decision that prompts inner conflict, but there’s a deeper question I should probably be asking myself: “How can I best serve this particular person right now considering the type of relationship I have with them and considering what God might be doing right now to draw them to Himself?” Depending on the depth of my relationship with that person, their relationship to me (friend? co-worker? family member) and what I’ve sensed God doing in the past with them (curious about Christinity, not interested at all) might help me to determine how to best respond.
2. I don’t want to assume that the person knows where I stand on an issue simply because they know I am a Christian. I’m continually surprised by others’ assumptions about my Christianity. Their assumptions are usually based on the last person they knew who called themselves a Christian….if the last Christian they met was under the pulpit of a lesbian pastor who referred to God as “Mother”, then their picture of Christianity might be different than my assumptions.
3. I need to realize that in the homosexual community in particular, attendance = support. When Melissa Ethridge married her lesbian partner, her comments and the comments of others interviewed revealed that “attendance” and “support” were pretty much synonymous. It’s a good thing to be aware of, and (if going) to be prepared for. So, unless I, at some point, clarify my beliefs concerning gay marriage (in an appropriate and gracious manner, of course) my attendance at a gay wedding might be seen as “supporting” the gay couple in their decision to marry (as most weddings assume typically anyway), and my Christianity will be assumed to be the “soul force”, Mel White-esque brand of Christianity (if you’re unfamilir with “soul train” or “stranger at the gate”, click here).
3. I don’t want to hold them to the same standards that I would hold a Christian to. I had a pagan (anti-Christian) neighbor once that I had fantastic conversations about faith with over the fences in our back yard (just like in the movies and just like on the cover of the Bill Hybels book). He smoked and swore like both habits were going out of style. He used to apologize until I finally told him to quit it. “You don’t have to act like a Christian around me” I said. I don’t want to convey the idea that the couple having the co-habitation party need to pretend like they’re not really sleeping in the same bed when I’m around. It’s better to openly acknowledge differences and accept people where they are, even if their behavior is unacceptable to God.
4. I don’t want to be fake. I don’t show up at the gay adoption and pretend to be happy, along with the rest of my secular neighbors, that this baby will grow up missing one gender in a parental role. I’m not saying the party is an opportunity to assert my contrary beliefs to everyone around, but I will probably opt out in a situation that I feel like I’d have to “pretend” a lot in (and find a substitute, like inviting the couple and child over for dinner, or offering to babysit or something), or, if it were a family member or something, I’d go and just be politely honest that “I may not agree with the decision, but I’m thankful for the child’s presence in our community” or something like that.
5. I don’t want to avoid “the issue” in conversation with the person, especially if I decided to attend the event. This is fear of man. Avoiding the issue doesn’t love the person I claim to be “loving” after I’ve attended their event; it loves me and my fear of man. As that one neighbor asked me across the fence: “How come Christians always post on bumper stickers and billboards stuff that they won’t talk about with me face-to-face?” An excellent question. Maybe attending that gay adoption would be a way of connecting with neighbors I don’t know very well and forging a relationship that could lead to such authentic, open, conversations…who knows?
6. If declining, I want to be loving. This means intentionally finding other ways to love the person.
7. If attending, be truthful. This means intentionally finding ways to disucuss the decisions the person is making so that they seem unfulfilling when held up to the light of Christ’s righteous ways, and the light of the gospel.
So, I’ve reflected on this for way too long now, but it was helpful for me to clarify some thoughts and ideas I’ve had over time on the issue…thanks for reading this loooong blog.
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What Makes the News in East Africa…
In America, an elementary/junior high school teacher propositioning a child would be considered perverse enough to make the news (as it ocassionally does). In Uganda, teachers propositioning children in primary school (1-8 grades) is so common that it doesn’t make the news at all. Two of the four schools Brian and I visited in Uganda and Kenya employed teachers who (reputedly) propositioned children. Recently, however, The Moniter (one of Uganda’s two top newspapers) had an article about this practice. The reason it made the news is because the Prime Minister of Education made a statement warning such teachers that these practices were harmful and promoted the spread of AIDS, especially in rural areas.
Let that sink in for a second. Just take one moment and imagine that your (hypothetical) 6th grader was offered movie tickets for herself and a friend in exchange for sex. Who do you call/ream out/press charges against first? The teacher/school/newspapers/legal system would know that you know within 24 hours, right? In a country where human rights are considered valuable, this is considered newsworthy.
Now imagine a poor 6th grade girl in Kenya being offered new shoes in exchange for sex. More than likely, no one thinks twice about it. Except God, who remembers everything and stores it up in his books.
I still don’t understand how both these places can exist in the same world. Which probably just goes to show how sheltered I am in my “1%” (of the world’s wealthiest people) environment.
One Year of Marriage
Our one year anniversary is coming up on September 5. We were married on Labor Day last year. Here’s a brief listing of things that we’d highly recommend after our first year of marriage:
*tickle wars
*teamwork
*date night
*expressing gratitude toward others
*joining a small group through church
*celebrating every little ocassion
*practicing hospitality together
*Chipotle
*fast Scrabble
*reading together
*doing a missions trip together
*exploring our spiritual giftings
*Caribou coffee
*eliminating sarcasm
*surprises
*athletic walks
*cuddle walks
*home projects
*Google Calendars
*cell phones
*tea time
*lovering each other
*road trips
*getting to know your neighbors
*frisbee
*picnics
*double dates
*working at the same place
*canoeing
*clarifying expectations
*netflix
*starting a BLOG together!
Mark of a Christian #3: A God-centered identity
This morning I began studying Galatians during my morning devotional time. Chapter one jumps off the page with zealous intensity as Paul pleads with the church then and now to orient themselves around the true gospel of Christ (1:7) that brings glory to God (1:5, 24). So many things could be and have been said about this text, but one point grips me in the present. We must find our identity wrapped up in who God is and what he has done. First, our gaze must be set on the ancient horizon of Calvary’s cross and Joseph of Arimethia’s empty tomb. Christ “gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father/ who raised him from the dead” (1:4, 1). All true Christianity is built on this foundation that after 2000 years remains the only sure standing place. Second, our gaze must through the Word of God begin to evaluate the intersection of God’s grace with our own lives. God set apart Paul when he was in the womb (Gal 1:15; cf. Jer 1:5; Ps 139:13) and called by his grace (Gal 1:6, 15; cf. 1Pet 5:10) and then was pleased to reveal himself to Paul (1:16). To repeat, God took pleasure in revealing himself to Paul! Third, we must labor not to please man but to please God. This requires a re-orientation of our identity around God’s perfect work in Christ’s death and resurrection and his gracious work in election, calling, and revelation to us. The fruit of that tree of grace is a growing desire to please God with our lives. May such fruit emerge in my own life and in yours.
Posted by Brian
Two Sermons
I often listen to sermons at work – working for a Christian organization that distributes audio resources lends itself to this. Here is a link to two sermons I enjoyed recently. The first, by Bob Kauflin, is about pursuing the presence of God in worship. In it he discusses going to church with an attitude of expectancy when it comes to hearing from God. He also mentioned something I’ve been thinking about more lately, which is how discussions with other Christians about our struggles, concerns, and so forth should often end up being missed opportunities to interact with God and that person through prayer. Bob makes several excellent points, and I wish that Brian and I had been able to attend his recent worship conference. I think he could have helped us to grow in the area of using spirtual gifts in worship.
The second sermon is by Thabiti Anyabwile on Eph. 2:8-10. About half of it is his personal testimony. I enjoy hearing testimonies, and I think I found Thabiti’s fascinating because his background is so incredibly different than mine: he was raised by a single mom in the south during the civil rights movement and became an “angry black Muslim”. His account of his own journey to Christ is encouraging to me, who would have now idea how to connect with an “angry black Muslim” were I to meet one on the street. In fact, I probably wouldn’t want to have any kind of interaction with such a person. But this testimony reminded me that it is GOD who works through our words to impart the gospel, and there is no good reason to be afraid if I were called to share the gospel with someone I might naturally fear.
The Toothbrush Trend
Do you carry toothbrush and paste in your car on a regular basis?
I used to think it was just my best friend from high school – who carries a toothbrush and toothpaste around in her glove compartment. She was always brushing after a meal at a restaurant, after the movies, and so forth.
Then I got married and realized that my husband does the same thing. My husband, who is the most low-maintenance person ever, carries toothbrush/paste in his car.
Today at work, I ran into one of the directors coming out of the men’s room with toothbrush and paste in hand. “Time for a brush” he quipped.
Does everyone in America do this, and I’ve just never noticed? It’s never occurred to me to keep tooth brush and paste in the car or at my desk.
Kristin
Witnessing to Muslims
Thabiti Anyabwile has some great thoughts on witnessing to Muslims. Being a former Muslim-himself, I think he has some good insights on how to do this in an effective manner.
Check it out here.
Am I “Blue Like Jazz”?
I usually don’t read books like Blue Like Jazz, but I wanted to see what all the hype was about. A few brief reflections on Donald Miller’s immensely popular book:
(1) It is “honest” and “authentic.” This book says no to fake, “we’re all doing great,” made- for- TV Christianity, which I appreciate. It reads like Don Miller’s journal and is very soul-searching and self-reflective. One of the pivotal points in the book is the author’s story of the “confession booth” during the party week at his former college, Reed. Don and several of his Christian friends, in an effort to break through to a flagrantly pagan school, set up a booth in the middle of campus in which they confess their own sins and the sins of Christianity to their classmates. The result is a real spiritual breakthrough on that campus and also in Don’s life personally, as he feels that it was a “coming out of the closet” experience as a real Christian. The “confession booth” is a very moving story and offers a helpful picture of dealing very openly with sin. However, this does not seem to be a full and accurate picture of Christian spirituality and evangelism. Peter and Paul in Acts do not usually begin their sermons by reading from their sin journals but by lifting up the glory of Christ and calling for the people’s repentance. Don’t get me wrong, the Christian life is characterized by continual repentance from sin and pursuit of holiness. But in the New Testament we are not addressed as dirty sinners trying to live right but as saints washed by the blood of Christ, born again to a living hope, called to leave behind the life of sin. Don’s book tends to prize “honesty about sin” over “Jesus’ payment for sin” and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit to give us victories over sin.
(2) It is “nonreligious.” Don Miller’s chapter title “Church: how I go without getting angry” sums up his perspective on the church as an institution. His perspective is that pastors tend to be salesmen, Republican recruiters, and liberal bashers, and there is an element of truth that must be heard in his critique. In the churches he puts forth as ideals, the pastors say cusswords (see Ephesians 4:29 and James 3 for why this is actually not virtuous) and chew tobacco. He finally finds a church that he can go to without getting angry because it is spiritual, it values the arts, and it emphasizes community and authenticity. I like those four qualities also, they are important. Yet none of those four criteria distinguish a group of people as being followers of Jesus. He could be describing an AA meeting, a book club, a drama group, or a yoga team. Christians are distinguished in the New Testament by faith in a crucified savior, love for God and neighbor, and the Spirit’s transforming work in their practical holiness. A second critique: though it is very trendy in our generation to be down on the church (which Don claims he is not) it is the “institution” that God has chosen as his future bride. It is inconceivable reading the New Testament that there would be followers of Jesus that kept an arm’s length from the church.
(3) It is a helpful book to read. This point might seem utterly disconnected to my first two pessimistic comments, yet Blue Like Jazz made me think alot. It pushed me outside the box, which is a good thing. One example of this is in chapter one, entitled “Problems,” when Miller comes to the realization that the real “problem” in the world is not with the president’s foreign and domestic policy or with the threat of terrorists but it is the darkness of the human heart beginning at the personal level. He writes very boldly, “I AM THE PROBLEM,” and I resonated with this honest statement that seems to live out the spirit of Matthew 7:1-3, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” This book was also helpful and worth reading because it gave me insight into the mind of many “postmodern” Christians who are dissatisfied with a fake, political Christianity and want something new and fresh. We can work with these “Blue Like Jazz” folks as we avoid some of the trappings of cultural Christianity and orient our lives around a personal, transforming relationship with the Living God through his Son Jesus Christ as revealed in his Word. Thus, I give Blue Like Jazz a qualified recommendation. Posted by Brian
